Time to set the scene.
You probably just met this guy, either at a bar or on a dating
app. So far, your relationship is shallow and easy. You hung out a couple times
and you’re really starting to dig his vibe. You’re thirsty for a little more
commitment at this point & you want him to know that you are interested but
don’t know how to approach it.
So you do the do the UNFORGIVABLE. You ask him to commit to
something that is practically a month away. Maybe you ask him to commit to a
baseball game? After all, you’re both from Philly and the Phillies are playing
the Red Sox, so it might be cute to wear matching gear and bond over the fact
that your parents raised you in the same fucking city. (Before you ask, YES,
this happened to me, YES I was the one who proposed the idea, & YES
I got completely blown off after the suggestion). NEWSFLASH ladies!
It’s not CUTE and it comes off creepy. FTR- This guy is a
Perfect Player. He’s not looking for commitment. He only wants to invest time
in himself, not stress about what day he made plans with Sally from Finance on.
Ladies, if you prematurely set plans with a guy you can expect the
following reactions;
- He
will start to distance himself. Maybe you’re used to him texting you first
every day? Well, NOT ANYMORE.
- He
will watch everything you do on social media and stay tuned in with your
life, but only from a distance.
- He
will begin to forget previous conversations. For example, he knows you are
going on vacation with your family because you told him last week, but he
will “completely forget”. This is his next attempt at driving you away and
telling you HE DOES NOT CARE without actually saying it.
- His
texting will start to become brutally boring and you will start to feel
like you’re talking to a wall.
- He
WILL “FORGET” about the scheduled event & when the time comes he will NOT
bring it up.
These stunts will spiral you into three different phases.
- Phase
1: You will start to feel insecure. You will question your own decision
making and blame yourself for coming on too strong. Once the regret blows
over you’ll switch to phase 2..
- Phase 2: “FUCK HIM! FUCKING LOSER!” Or “Wow! Why does he
think he is so hot!” This is the phase when you want to rip his head off.
This will be the shortest of the three phases and will last no longer than
24 hours.
- Phase 3: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! In this phase you will forgive him. You will brush off any bad feelings you had towards him. You’re
ready for a rematch. (After all, you weren’t trying to date you were just
trying to make him fall in love with you).
Well,
I got good news for you ladies! It’s not too late to win that date and your
chances aren’t ruined. Guys don’t get anything RIGHT on the first try (Honestly they don’t get anything right on the second try either but we will save that for another day). Your first swing at bat was a strike, now it’s time to hit it out of the park. You will distance yourself from him. You will refrain from texting him for a couple weeks and react to NOTHING he posts online. After a couple weeks you will text him on a Friday night and ask him to grab drinks with you. You will be direct and short. You will keep it lighthearted and friendly. He will initially be confused and startled because his egotistical self will think you hated him. 9 times out of 10 he will accept this invitation and you’ll be right on track for making him fall in love with you all over again. (If he says no then he’s just an asshole & someone your dead grandma wouldn’t even want to
go out with).
If you takeaway anything from this post, let it be this. Asking
to make plans way in advance with a guy is a death sentence to a fun and easy
fling. JUST SIMPLY DO NOT DO IT.
Funny post!
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